R.I.P Juancho

wow its been 4 and a half years already and yet it still feels like yesterday. i was in my room in the dark thinking about life like i always do, and then i hear my mom on the phone talking to my brother trying to calm him down and i hear her voice start cracking and asking what happen and if you were okay. As i got closer to her room i can hear Sebastian screaming and crying, and right away i knew something was wrong. She told me you were in the hospital and for me to go to bed, so i laid in the dark on my bed wondering what happen to you. A few minutes past until i heard my mom start crying and she came into my room and told me you had passed away. I was in shock and couldnt believe it, i didnt want to. No tears fell down my face until it hit me that this was all real. I starred into the pitch darkness thinking about what we had done that week and talked about. Still to this day i cant remember saying bye to you that day and it kills me. You had the most energy of all of us and you were the one with the most life in him. your smile was amazing just like your heart. even though you got caught in something that you didnt need, you knew it was wrong and kept me away from making the same mistake. you are the reason why i am out of the streets and stayed away from gangs and drugs. i can still remember when you told me to not be like you and stay away from those people or you will beat me up haha. you've changed you the life of so many people, especially my life. you were one of my best friend/ brother. i went to you about things that i didnt go to anyone else to. i cant understand why is it you that had to go...you were so young and such a good person. this experience has changed my outlook on life, and made me realize life is unpredictable. no one saw it coming and i guess thats what makes it hurt so much. i think about you all the time and wondering how would it be if you were still here. Sofia would have loved you so much and i bet she would have picked you over the rest of us for everything. shes gonna know who her other uncle is. well i think thats enough for tonight...till tomorrow my brother i love you